I’ve been on Koh Jum a couple of days now. It hasn’t stopped raining. But I still love the island so I can only imagine what its like in the sun.

The first night it turned out nightmares weren’t necessary, as I had a real life one. I woke in the middle of the night with a start, as I felt something on me. I sat up and turned on my torch – the power is only on here between 7 and 10pm – but there was nothing to be seen. But then I felt a biting sensation in my boxers just above my arsecrack. With a jolt I grabbed whatever it was and threw it into the air. It was a centipede the size of my fucking hand! It landed on the bed, with its solid black segments shining, then used its threatening red legs to scurry off down the side of the bed. I searched everywhere but couldn’t find it, so just hoped it had run off somewhere to kill a different human.

At first it scared the shit out of me, but then it dawned on me the poor bugger was probably just as terrified as I. All he wanted was a little snuggle. I felt guilty for the rest of the night.

Also on top of this I had the cat situation. I ordered an awesome crab curry for dinner at Bo Doeng. Unfortunately this produced some kind of strangely addictive pheromone that only a feline can smell. A black creature emerged from the jungle darkness and perched on my table, constantly meowing and edging closer, and closer, to my plate. Eventually it was getting so close so as to actually take something from the plate itself. I tried to put it off without drawing attention to myself, which is difficult in a restaurant. I tried a low hiss ‘hooosssss’. I tried a wave of the hand, ‘swish, swoosh’. Neither to any avail. So I tried the classic ‘let it sniff a leg of crab then lob it off the table’. It liked the sniffing part, but sadly didn’t follow the leg off the table. I then decided on the solid shove approach. I pushed it gently but firmly until it ended up not on the table, but on the floor. This gave me a split second of respite before it hopped back on the table. At which point I thought ‘fuck it’, and gave it a claw to destroy.

The following morning I swam and explored the beach. Not much here which is perfect. But it didn’t stop raining so I didn’t get far, just The Rock Bar at the end of the beach. A characteristic building constructed on the rocks at the head of the beach, crafted by 2 Thai lads and their friends over two months. It’s very impressive. They made it by shackling together huge chunks of driftwood that rocked up on the beach, and at times had to stall the construction while they waited for a new piece to find its way to shore. I had a beer here, but afterwards the rain was too much and I returned to my hut.

Back at Bo Daeng some locals that had arrived that day were sat playing a guitar and singing with the owner of the bungalows. She was producing a beautiful melancholic thai melody. So with the sea crashing in the background I sat with a beer for a few moments.

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